This is too damn funny! If you understand Arabic, you’re gonna laugh your ass. If you don’t, read the translations, and you’re still going to laugh your ass off.
Don’t you just love these clowns?
That Al-Azhar scholar (the same Al-Azhar Obama spoke at and praised) belongs in an episode of… taraaa… The Holy Room!
Seriously though, the paranoia on this one is staggering. Although, I’m glad this debate is gaining more and more momentum so that the Arab public can get more informed, and hopefully reform the current education system in regards to that important issue.
But beware, most of za bearded ones will fight! Especially in za wahhabi kingdom.
If we have za sexi education, za arab worrrlid iz eegoing to be bigger immorality, and zat is a big broblim.
BROBLIM I TELL YOU!
Za youngi boyz and girrrlz will be, erm, you know, sorry, zat iz dirty word, but you know what zey weel do?
The news is out. Lubna won’t get flogged after all - a victory for Muslim women who stood behind her and supported her, but is the sentence really worthy of our celebration?
Me thinks probably not.
It’s a bittersweet occasion. No to getting flogged, yes to getting fined.
But that’s not the unfortunate part.
The true misfortune is the fact that this new embarrassing episode in Sudan - one of an ongoing series (Teddy Bear Circus anyone?) - doesn’t seem like it’s going to be the last.
Things like this will continue
As long as you have idiots who misunderstand Islam, abuse it for self-serving political purposes, or dogmatically support its orthodox traditionalist interpretation (which in numerous cases is anti-woman), incidents like this will continue.
(Note: There are things that are supported and backed by Islam which don’t treat women equally and that do indeed deserve critique, for example the amount of inheritance allocated for women within Islamic law. However, most Islamic scholars will agree that Lubna’s arrest was un-Islamic, and was either carried out by idiots who don’t have a proper understanding of Islamic law, or who are using Islam as a political tool to further their own self-serving agendas.)
But anyways, back to what I was saying.
Again, yes, things like this will continue not just in Sudan, but throughout the Muslim world, because most of it suffers from the same serious common illness: a knowledge crisis.
And this latest case, the Teddy Bear Circus, and other similar ones are merely symptoms of this disease, so don’t expect them to go away as long as this disease remains.
The cures?
Mainly free inquiry and free enterprise.
Oh, and lots of work, time and patience, but it’s okay because we’ve got to start somewhere, and it’s people like Lubna who inspire the needed soldiers to march forward with boldness and courage.
Bittersweet indeed, but maybe the sentence is worthy of just a little celebration.
Yup, I know what the passionately religious amongst you are probably thinking. “How dare he! Blasphemy! Arrogance! Somebody should teach this damn heretic a lesson.”
Well, not so fast.
Because my statement doesn’t necessarily deny the existence of God or belief in Him.
Have a glass of cold water, hear me out first, and I’d be more than happy to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
Holy Books: Awww Verses Vs Yikes Verses
Holy books and sacred texts like the Bible, the Hadith collections and even the Quran contain commandments and stories that can either make you go Awww, or Yikes!
That is if you read those verses and sections literally.
Now, I’m not going to get into examples in details. You can explore different verses on your own if you like. The resources are plentiful and online.
Still, let’s get into this matter briefly.
Taking the Quran for instance, you have many, many beautiful verses encouraging good deeds such as being kind to orphans, giving charity, and so on aka, Awww verses.
You also have a number of verses that can be morally repulsive and scientifically retarded when read and understood literally.
“Don’t read those verses literally you dumbass! You need to interpret them correctly!”
Ok, fair enough.
In fact, that’s exactly the type of thinking I held on to and valued, and from a functional perspective, it’s actually a good thing, but it doesn’t mean it leads to truth, and in many cases, it needs some serious mental gymnastics.
Interpretation and Cherry Picking
Anyone who’s actually read the Bible or the Quran knows that there are plenty of verses that will make any sane or moral person today go yikes!
Ah, well here comes the “beauty” of interpretation and cherry picking.
Demonstrating the Problem With
the Palestinian-Israeli Conflict
Let’s take an imaginary character and call him Ahmad.
Ahmad is a Palestinian Muslim kid whose parents got killed in an Israeli bombing raid on Gaza. He grows up with rage in his heart and contempt for Jews.
As time passes, Ahmad finds himself influenced by Quranic verses and stories in Islam that characterize Jews as infidels, and Islam’s sworn-enemies.
At the age of 28, Ahmad ends his life by blowing up himself at an Israeli checkpoint.
On the other hand, you have another imaginary character called Muhammad.
Muhammad is a Palestinian father who lost his children in an Israeli bombing raid on Gaza. He continues living his life still believing in peace and brotherhood with his Jewish neighbors.
As time passes, Muhammad finds strength and inspiration from the Quran, and continues to focus on the verses which encourage kindness and tolerance towards Jews and Christians, referred to in the Quran numerous times as “the people of the book.”
Now…
The truth is obvious from the examples above which aren’t really all that imaginary.
In both cases, Ahmad and Muhammad did not derive their morality from the Quran.
Their ethical intuitions came from within themselves.
Their ethical intutions directed their attention to verses they chose to focus on and be inspired by, whether knowingly or uknowingly.
Their ethical intuitions influenced their choice of interpretation.
And hence, their morals did not come from the Quran itself.
Their morals ultimately came from within themselves thanks to their own ethical intuitions about what’s right and wrong, and were influenced by their near social context.
And in case you’re still clinging on to the idea that our morality comes from Holy Books, here’s another example that demonstrates otherwise.
Demonstrating the Problem With Wife
“Beating” as “Instructed” In the Quran
This one requires no writing.
Just watch this fun, hilarious video that clearly shows a serious heinous problem in some parts of the Muslim world.
Observe how Mr. Chauvinist appeals to the authority of the Quran and his traditionalist (andsadlywidespread) understanding of the “wife beating” verse.
Ah, interpretation, interpretation.
I mean seriously, on whose authority does one decide which verses to take literally, and which to take as metaphor?
Like I said, morality does not come from Holy Books themselves.
Metaphorical interpretation becomes a necessity and the process of choosing the morally right interpretation comes down to the individual’s ethical intuitions on which interpretation seems right, and which one seems wrong.
Wife beating? Yikes! That’s just wrong. Probably metaphorical. God is loving and merciful. He can’t support this type of lunacy.
Wife beating? Yeah, beat the crap out of her. Some women need discipline, and discipline is important. Without it, you will just have immoral anarchy and disobedience. God doesn’t like disobedience.
Oh, and guess what?
I didn’t make up those two responses to the wife beating question.
Those are roughly the responses I got from two pious Muslim friends I personally know, who both appeal to the interpretation of the Quran they believe is right… out of their own ethical intuitions.
See what I mean?
Now, If Morality Comes from Within Us
and Our Own Ethical Intuitions…
… then that begs the question… where did we come from?
Jesus? The Big Bang? Allah? Evolution?
Baba Ganoush?
Zeus? Osiris?
Xenu?
Leave your answer in the comments section below now.
Gosh, where do I even start. Lots of fun stuff happened in the last few recent days and weeks. Work, while still enjoyable, has piled up, and updates have slowed down. But that aside though, let’s look at the real fun that took place recently.
1. Sudanese Women Flogged for So-Called Indecent Clothing
Lubna Hussein, a journalist and a public information officer at the UN Mission in Sudan (UNMIS) was one of nine girls taken by the Public Order Police (POP) on Sunday from a ballroom in an area east of Khartoum.
Poor Lubna. The POP idiots won’t leave her alone.
… The arrests took place under the Criminal Penal Code which states that anyone wearing “grossly clothing” shall be punished with no more than 40 lashes or a fine or both.
Grossly clothing? What the hell is that even supposed to mean? What qualifies as grossly? Because seriously, those POP boys can probably get erections merely by looking at goats! That Penal Code needs to get revised, yesterday.
The Sudanese journalist said that the application of this section of the criminal penal code is damaging to a girl’s reputation in the Sudanese society.
Maybe it’s about time we cut the bullshit obsession with honor, reputation, and gossip.
Unfortunately, it is mostly true. A lot of things about life in Sudan are centered around honor and reputation, as if they’re holier than Islam itself.
Anyways, moving on, before those medieval horny POP monkeys make my head pop.
2. Stabbed 18 Times for Being Muslim Inside… a Courtroom
I can’t believe I missed this one. I only found out about it from a Facebook Group invite.
Stabbed 18 times inside a damn courtroom, can you believe that?
CAIRO — Thousands of Egyptian mourners marched behind the coffin of the “martyr of the head scarf” on Monday _ a pregnant Muslim woman who was stabbed to death in a German courtroom as her young son watched.
… Her husband was critically wounded in the attack Wednesday in Dresden when he tried to intervene and was stabbed by the attacker and accidentally shot by court security.
Nice work, court security. Maybe you should all get fired. Incompetent retards.
… Al-Sherbini, who was about four months pregnant and wore the Islamic head scarf, was involved in a court case against her neighbor for calling her a terrorist and was set to testify against him when he stabbed her 18 times inside the courtroom in front of her 3-year-old son.
I hope that poor kid grows up to be normal and recovers from this deeply tragic event. Nobody should ever have to go through stuff like this.
Oh, and I think this part is spot on.
… Egyptian commentators said the incident was an example of how hate crimes against Muslims are overlooked in comparison to those committed by Muslims against Westerners. Many commentators pointed to the uproar that followed the 2004 murder of filmmaker Theo van Gogh by a Dutch-born Islamic fundamentalist angry over one of his films criticizing the treatment of Muslim women.
Very true. Where on earth is the outrage over this on CNN? Where are the typical repeated reports with the big headlines?
This is beyond sickening.
But at least this part is positive:
Officials from a German Muslim group and the country’s main Jewish group made a joint visit Monday to the Dresden hospital where the victim’s husband is being treated.
“You don’t have to be a Muslim to act against anti-Muslim behavior, and you don’t have to be a Jew to act against anti-Semitism,” said Stephan Kramer, the general secretary of the Central Council of Jews.
Oh well, RIP.
3. Jakarta Bombings
Here we go again. I thought Obama is president now and he’s pulling US troops out of Iraq? Right, like that’s going to work. Eh, this is probably about local Indonesian politics.
Guess it’s time for me to watch a comedy movie or something. Maybe a Reason Vs Faith YouTube debate.
Listen to them here. Not bad at all. For the full story, go here. Most amazing of all is that they’ve never lived outside of Saudi Arabia. I say rock on to them!
MOGADISHU, Somalia - A 13-year-old girl who said she had been raped was stoned to death in Somalia after being accused of adultery by Islamic militants, a human rights group said.
Dozens of men stoned Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow to death Oct. 27 in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators in the southern port city of Kismayo, Amnesty International and Somali media reported, citing witnesses.
To all those idiots out there supporting al-Qaeda, this is the kind of shit you’re going to end up with if they ever get to rule your neighborhood.
I understand you may have your own “kinder” interpretation of Sharia, but the kind featured above is precisely what they’ll be busy shoving down our throats. I’m sure you’d love to see your daughters or sisters go through similar “holy” trials if they too get raped and can’t produce four witnesses to confirm that the crime took place, right?
Disgusting.
For the zillionth time, Sharia is NOT holy, and never will be. I speak in practical terms, because Sharia’s enforcement requires an initial interpretation of religious scriptures - both activities ultimately being the product of fallible humans, people just like you and me.
So please dear Muslims, don’t fear criticizing Sharia. Go ahead. Feel free to tear it apart where appropriate if you wish to do so, and if anyone pushes the “hey, how dare you criticize God’s law?” argument in your face, you know what to do.
Even God’s laws or so-called laws require interpretation, something which is inevitably exercised by imperfect, fallible bearded men (rarely women in case you haven’t noticed), many of whom are just power-hungry morons who hide behind a veil of piety to shield themselves from criticism.
Cool?
Now excuse me while I go and continue puking.
UPDATE:There are a number of legitimate questions from fellow (albeit traditionalist) Muslims which have popped up in the comments section. While I responded in a comment, I thought it would be better if I added it here in the post to make it more visible.
Here’s Irshad Manji with a rant about a disgusting practice that still sadly continues today.
I’ve also blogged about how progressive non-Muslims contribute to such injustices. In the name of showing cultural “sensitivity,” they often tolerate the intolerable. Read this commentary.
Great list, must have taken that funky ghetto hijabi girl (with an interesting story, and probably confused identity) ages to put together. Although it would have been better with some links included but I trust her anyways.
Smallville’s Lana Lang is the HOTTEST, followed by Lisa Ray at number 15! (if you’ve been too busy living on Mars, Lana Lang is number 25 in the list in case you’re wondering). Nicole of the Pussycat Dolls is too damn slutty. Meanwhile, Halle Berry is getting too old.
There are all kinds of awesome, delicious mixes on that list including Ethiopian Irish. I bet at least 20% of those people grew up with some big identity crisis issues.
And hey, did you know Heroe’s Nathan Petrelli is half Iranian, half German? Boycott the freaking show! Say NO to evil Iranians, all of them, starting with beloved Ahmadmidgetnejad!
She’s been blogging for a while now over at GV and I’m totally digging her writing which focuses on many of the retarded things and blatant double standards in our patriarchal culture. Check out what she has to say here and here. Oh and don’t miss this post about her revealing, unpleasant “encounter” with a popular Muslim televangelist.
Dear hijabi/conservative Muslim sisters in da house, I have a little present for you. It’s called ‘We Love Hijab‘ and I’m finding it quite amusing. Maybe you will too.
Nancy Ajaj is a Sudanese singer who has become very famous in recent years. Her voice can be seriously annoying sometimes when she maintains the same high pitch without enough variation but overall, I think she’s adorable and love what she has to offer.
Sudanese conservatives loathe her of course. Let them enjoy doing so as much as they want, just as long as they don’t try to harass her and shut her up.
Location: Deep, Deep Down the Orgasmic Rabbit Hole of Epistemology.
Bio of Awesomeness: Traditionalist Muslim, Turned Free Thinking Sufi Lover. Social Media Consultant to NY Times Best-Selling Authors. Author of Upcoming Memoir. Belief Systems Junkie. Afro-Arab Libertarian Music Freak. Vehemently Anti-Islamist. Loud and Drop Dead Gorgeous. The High Priest of Mischievous "Blasphemy." Read on and Have Your Brain Spun. You've Been Warned!
"If I don't have the freedom to disbelieve, I cannot believe."
— Abdullahi An-Na'im
"Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must approve the homage of reason rather than of blind-folded fear."