WARNING: Heavy Sarcasm Zone. USA Sucks. Jews Not Welcome. Religion Is Infallible. Reader Discretion Is Advised, and Again, Seriously, Heavy Sarcasm Zone.


From the monthly archives:

April 2009

Three Years Later…

by Drima on April 30, 2009

April 14th, 2009, was this blog’s 3rd birthday. I just realized that today. So, happy belated birthday to this blog, and to all of you for your continuous support and readership.

Especially you guys who’ve been around here from the start. Because of you, a wonderful community has formed around this blog over the last three years.

Yes, it’s been three freaking years. Can you believe it?

Oh, how time flies, and how minds change. Three years, whoosh, past your eyes, just like that.

I know I’ve said it before, but the feeling hasn’t changed. Indeed, every now and then when I look back at the archives of 2006, I still cringe when I read some of my old posts, and wonder to myself “was that really me, and wtf was I thinking when I wrote that?”

I can’t help but reflect on everything that happened because of starting this blog.

Yes, my literary skills have improved. Yes, I’ve been flown to cool conferences. Yes, I’ve started writing a book. Yes, I’ve made many good friends through this blog. A few of whom I’ve already had the pleasure of meeting, and many whom I have yet to meet.

Not to mention my way of thinking which has also evolved a great deal. So much in fact, that I never ever would have imagined becoming the free thinking much happier heretic I am today, but all of this has come with an unregrettable price.

You see, as the days pass by, and I look around me deeper into the eyes of family and friends, I begin to better fathom the extent of the expanded distance that has come between us within specific domains, but that hopefully won’t weaken our bonds.

I feel like I am entering a tough period in my life, one in which I’m struggling hard to ensure as best as I can that the important decisions I’ll take are truly mine, but without hurting or alienating the ones I love and care about.

Thing is, I can no longer decide the big issues based on the wishes or expectations of those around me, mainly because the belief systems that lead to such decisions are no longer as shared as they used to be.

Plus, it is my life after all.

Things are just too different now, but I fear that there are some things (like cultural restrictions) which I can’t escape, no matter how much I try. And if that’s the case, should I continue fighting? Is there hope? Or am I just too freaking over-analytical, and should instead let things go with the flow?

I don’t know.

But admittedly going with the flow does seem like the best option most of the time… until those inevitable deep contemplative pauses kick in every once in a while.

Ultimately though, I remain optimistic, because previous major questions and struggles have been resolved, like the one I dealt with regularly on a daily basis two years ago.

Here I am, a Sudanese, a Nubian Arab, a Shaige and a Muslim traveling across the United States of America. There I was contemplating and struggling within myself. It’s a struggle I wake up to face everyday. It’s the struggle of the Westernized me VS the Sudanese Muslim deeply engrained within me. It’s the fight and the search for answers. It’s about finding a place where I belong. This place is not a physical one but a mental one. It’s a mental state, which I and only I can achieve for myself.

And today I have thankfully achieved it. The “hows” and intricacies involved therein will require a whole new separate post to explain, but for now, let’s just say that framing the struggle in terms of “Westernized Vs Sudanese Muslim” in my mind was a mistaken approach, but more later on that.

My point is that this is no longer a struggle I wake up to everyday anymore.

The mental state has been achieved. It is something I am grateful for, and oh what a relief.

But where I screwed up my assessment, was in forgetting that a new mental state is not where things stop.

Oh no, far from it.

Because new mental states result in shaping new actions, and actions (unlike thoughts) are visible to all those around who can witness and see them. They more difficult to hide if one wished to hide them. And why even hide them? Why not just be?

Choice of life partner, dating, religious rituals, career, who to support politically…

Only time will tell. That is the new challenge that has risen before me.

At the end of the day, my main wish is to make decisions that are mine, while reaching a state of equilibrium where agreeing to disagree is smoothly possible, and one in which bonds of affection I share with those around me can still be preserved.

I don’t know how things will turn out, or how long it will take, but… I have faith. And on top of that, a wonderful clarity unlike any other I’ve ever had, but since the clock is still ticking, that clarity is destined to get only clearer… hopefully.

The journey continues.

And as I continue to walk the roads ahead, I thank you all for your supportive readership, your emails, and all the food for thought you’ve given me along the years. It’s been a pleasure, regardless of whether we’ve always agreed or not.

Seriously, a big heartfelt thank you to you boys and girls.

You’re awesome readers.

I love you guys!

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And now for something different…

by Drima on April 21, 2009

Oh. My. God.

Okay, so you’ve probably already heard about the amazing Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent. You know, the 47 year old, unmarried woman, who’s never been kissed, is unemployed and lives with her cat?

Makes you kinda grateful for those seemingly lame high school crushes now huh? ;)

But yeah, anyways, this kid Shaheen Jafargholi… well, he’s mind-blowing. I mean, damn, where the hell was he hiding all this time? Stellar. And absolutely mind-blowing.

That’s some serious crazy talent for a 12 year old, heck, for any aspiring singer.

Watch Him NOW >>

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The Boundaries Between Self and Love (Read Now, Or Else Expect a Dangerous Fatwa Baby)

by Drima on April 18, 2009

Listen carefully, if you don’t appreciate the awesome quote below, I’m going to issue a fatwa encouraging any pious person who sees you on the street to pinch your butt really hard until your eyeballs pop out.

Seriously, you better do as I say, or else expect that bad-ass fatwa to be issued first thing in the morning tomorrow. And if I’m too lazy to issue it, I’ll just pay someone to do it.

After all, it’s not like many of those cute fatwa issuers - including those in al-Azhar - aren’t on the payroll of their governments anyways. So hey, I’m sure they’ll have no problems accepting money from me in return for some awesome fatwa fun.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Now read… ;)

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi, the super cool Sufi mystic lover.

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The Pope Is Totally Loving Condoms (Update: The Vatican Responds)

by Drima on April 15, 2009

So, you’ve probably already heard about the Pope’s recent trip to Africa where he expressed his awesome wisdom on the effectiveness of the lubricated super elastic XXXXXL condoms he found on the continent in the fight against AIDS. It looks like he’s loving them big time.

He’s completely supportive too.

And did I already mention the condoms there were XXXXXL? Did I? No, really did I? :P

Bet he’s also gonna like this video a lot.

Dear boys reading this blog post right now, (especially those of you in Africa), stay safe.

Use condoms when you wanna get down with the boom boom.

Although, if you think about it, once oral sex enters the equation (and it usually does), then condoms ain’t really all that effective anymore, right?

Crap, the Pope might be right about those slimy things after all. Who knew?

What do YOU think?

WARNING: Only the boys in da house can answer. Girls, the sexist chauvinist Drima says you’re not welcome. Okay, kidding. He loves you all. So, what do you all think? :)

UPDATE: Looks like the Vatican isn’t happy about reactions criticizing the Pope’s irresponsible remarks on condoms.

In a strongly worded statement, the Vatican defended the pope’s view that condoms aren’t the answer to Africa’s AIDS epidemic and could make it worse. On his way to Africa last month, he said the best strategy is the church’s effort to promote sexual responsibility through abstinence and monogamy.

Way to go Mr. Pope.

… The Roman Catholic Church opposes the use of condoms as part of its overall teaching against contraception. It advocates sexual abstinence and sexual faithfulness between husband and wife as the best ways to combat the spread of HIV.

I say discard the ludicrous teachings on condoms and contraception.

Enough of this destructive religious dogmatism please. As for sexual faithfulness between husband and wife, thumbs up. I’m also in favor of lifestyles that reduce the risk of infection and don’t involve random multiple sex partners.

Still though, take the teachings on sexual faithfulness and random partners, and combine them with encouraging condom use.

Anyway, it’s funny how a person who doesn’t even have sex is supposed to know so much about it, let alone preach about it.

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7 Categories of Faith, Explained - The Uplifting Sacred, the Downright Ugly and Everything In-Between (Part 3 of 8: Category #2)

by Drima on April 15, 2009

The following post will not fulfill its purpose or make full sense, unless the entire series of posts it’s a part of is read in order. You are therefore encouraged to start with the introduction.

Category #2 - “Good” Non-Rational Faith

american veil

There are truths in this world that are universal, and when it comes to moral ones, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is the best document we have so far that espouses them on a global level.

However, there are moral “truths” which are relativist.

Despite the fact that I find the idea of moral relativism difficult to accept, I realize such a thing does exist, which brings me to “good” non-rational faith.

“Good” non-rational faith is belief perceived to be good in matters that are difficult to rationalize or back up with sufficient rational evidence. Its “goodness” is that of a relativist subjective kind and depends on the social construct you grew up in.

To one community, something can be “good” but to “others” it’s “bad” and hence the relativism. It also tends to fall within matters of morality, both religious and cultural.

Faith-based dress code modesty and sexuality are good examples  that involve lots of moral relativism.

The Muslim Zaynab who covers her hair with a hijab because she believes Allah instructs her to do so. The Afghani woman who goes one big step further and veils her entire face because she believes that’s what Allah truly wants. Or the liberal Fatemah who wears jeans with a T-shirt and doesn’t cover her hair at all because she believes Allah’s definition of modesty is a dominantly spiritual one.

All three’s moral dimension of their dress-code and their idea of modesty is relativist. It’s not universal. It can be challenging to paint into a straight forward black and white picture.

Through mainstream Muslim eyes, Zaynab will seem like the most faithfully moral of all three. Fatemah will come across as inadequately pious, and the Afghani woman’s faith in the morality of her dress-code will be perceived as too culturally contaminated.

But ultimately and generally speaking, the three Muslim females’ dress-code will be tolerated and accepted by the global population of Muslims as normative.

On the other hand though, a Muslim girl wearing tiny jeans shorts and a bikini who’s walking during summer down a street populated by mainstream Muslims will easily find herself labeled immoral and highly lacking in faith.

Personally speaking, I find Fatemah’s choice of clothing normative. The hijabi Zaynab… well, I’m not a fan of the hijab and I would never encourage any future daughters I may have to wear it.

Yup, I don’t like the hijab, although I respect a Muslim woman’s right to wear it out of choice, as many in my extended family do… similarly to how Christian nuns and religious Jewish women cover their hair too.

As for the face veil, I’m staunchly against it and find it heinous.

Hence, from a personal perspective, I wouldn’t place the hijab and face veil under “Good” Non-Rational Faith. I don’t find anything about them good from a universal perspective, or even “good” from a relativist one.

However, a Muslim community in general will, and this post is written from its perspective, in order to keep the example simplified.

Ultimately though, the point I’m trying to make is that all of us have beliefs we see as clearly good, and they are indeed universally good.

For instance, how often do you find people arguing over whether or not rape is a good or bad thing? See my point?

However, then you have those faith-based beliefs which to you or your community are good, but to many others, are not necessarily so. For example, the hijab or face veil, and the big debates surrounding them.

Hence, “Good” Non-Rational Faith.

Up next: Category #3 - Bad Non-Rational Faith

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Busy Days

by Drima on April 9, 2009

For what it’s worth, I’ve been feeling bad about not updating this place as often as I’d like to. But, I’m starting to realize that writing a book, maintaining a healthy social life, excelling at one’s career, blogging, and more, combined, is hard to keep up with if there isn’t some sort of desperately needed system in place.

So, as of today, I’ll pick one day in a week to sit my ass down and finish three drafts in one go to be then posted throughout the following week.

That way, the blog will be updated consistently and you don’t have to get annoyed everytime you check back for some new goodies and find nothing. :)

Yalla ya 7ilween.

Salam.

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