The Holy Room

Posted on November 26, 2007
Filed Under Religion, Silly Me, Personal |

Oh my God, I swear I can’t contain my excitement. Okay, so a short while ago I was being my usual goofy self with a bunch of friends and I suddenly came up with the greatest and potentially most entertaining “Drima idea” EVER!

What would happen if we threw a bunch of religious lunatics together in a small tiny room and left them inside for a while? Imagine them all - Talibani dudes, Hamas bearded men, half a dozen Jewish Kahane fans, and a few Pat Robertson followers - locked up together for two weeks.

Add a video camera into the equation and (drum roll) we’ve got ourselves a reality TV show! We can call it “The Holy Room” and it will come with some interesting and brain twisting challenges for its religious fundies to participate in. The prize? A billion dollars to use for whatever religious cause they might have - good or sinister. The best part? They must work together and get along during some challenges (like how it’s done in Survivor and The Apprentice).

Losers get killed by beheading. Or worse, they’ll be forced to watch porn on the gigantic indestructible TV screen inside their tiny residence. Ah, you know what? Make that gay porn - with a Marilyn Manson soundtrack.

Questions during challenges will include debating things like free will Vs predestination. We can even ask them if they think Jesus was black and if Hindus should get control over Jerusalem. The results can’t be all that bad and the entertainment will be priceless!

So? Who wants to join me? Any investors interested? Come on people, we can make history and some decent money with this shit. :P

Comments

16 Responses to “The Holy Room”

  1. Andrew Brehm on November 26th, 2007 11:42 am

    Hm…

    Kahane was a nutter but his ilk seem to be about as radical as the “moderate” Arab governments. He wants all Arabs deported from Israel, they wanted all Jews deported from Arab lands (and Israel). I don’t think he ever advocated attacking Arab countries and throwing their population into the sea, however.

    For Israeli standards he was a fanatic, but his position was not accepted and his group outlawed. Hamas and the “Muslim Brotherhood” are quite legal, despite pursuing more radical goals.

    Perhaps you ought to add Neturei Karta instead of Kahane? Of course, they would simply agree with the Hamas ilk and become their subservient slaves (if they can get to kiss a few Persians in exchange, presumably).

    If you want a fight, simply add one Shia and one Sunni group. That should do it. Violence between Israel and any number of Arab groups or countries has never even come close to the violence regularly seen between Sunnis and Shiites.

    Or put the Sudanese government in there with _any_ other group, radical or not.

  2. Don Cox on November 26th, 2007 1:16 pm

    I don’t think giving a billion dollars to the winner would be a good idea - he would want to buy nuclear weapons with it, and slaughter the unbelievers.

  3. Andrew Brehm on November 26th, 2007 3:25 pm

    Suddenly remembered that this should remind me of something I wrote on my old Web log, in a list of future television shows:

    “5. Overlord - Like Superstar but with aspiring tyrants, dictators, or religious leaders. The winner gets to be overlord and receives a record contract for a speech. I expect one military man, two religious fanatics, and a female nudist to compete.”

    http://web.mac.com/ajbrehm/Funny/Television_I.html

  4. Drima on November 26th, 2007 6:28 pm

    Andrew, I disagree with you on the “Kahane Jews”. Did you watch CNN’s God’s Jewish Warriors? A perfect example is the bunch of guys who placed the explosives in front of a Palestinian school to blow up the kids who studied there. That makes them sickening butchers and no different from al-Qaeda. Thank God the Israeli police discovered the plot before it was too late.

    Don Cox, who said anything about actually giving the winner his money? We don’t have to. Shhhh!

  5. 7aki Fadi on November 26th, 2007 7:13 pm

    I would definitely watch.

    There was a show called Amish in the city or something like that, your idea reminded me of it.

  6. aaron on November 26th, 2007 9:23 pm

    I think parts of Jerusalem have this pretty well covered already.

  7. charlie 316 on November 26th, 2007 10:03 pm

    Andrew - who would you have to judge the winner? A panel made up of Fidel Castro, Robert Mugabe and Hugo Chavez should just about cover it.

  8. Andrew Brehm on November 27th, 2007 9:23 am

    “A perfect example is the bunch of guys who placed the explosives in front of a Palestinian school to blow up the kids who studied there.”

    I didn’t know about that incident.

    Well, they are a terrorist organisation, Israeli law says so.

  9. Rara Avis on November 27th, 2007 6:37 pm

    I am looking forward to it
    Can’t wait to see them twisting with pain from gay pornography
    hahahaha
    Hilarious indeed

  10. Roman Kalik on November 28th, 2007 5:43 am

    Andrew, there was also a group, about thirty or so years ago, that wanted to blow up Al-Aqsa. These guys are still in prison, I think, and the incident got Shin-Bet to open a special section to find and stop groups of Jewish extremists. Such groups are few, very few in fact, but they exist nontheless.

  11. Andrew Brehm on November 28th, 2007 5:51 pm

    Maybe the early Muslims build Al-Aqsa to protect the temple mount from later Muslim vandalism?

    Muhammed seems to have predicted many problems, otherwise he would not have gone to such extreme lengths to inform people that G-d told the Jews to live the holy land (not that it helped).

    As for the nutters who tried to blow it up, may they rot in prison for good.

  12. Dave on November 29th, 2007 4:22 am

    Andrew,
    I have no problem with Jews living in the holy land and few Muslims did until about 60 years ago. I don’t object to it now, but I do object to the notion that anyone who is ethnically or religiously Jewish automatically can move there and displace the native population, Muslim or Christian. I wish Muslims would worry less about Palestine, but it’s not a situation where one side is completely right or wrong. Settler religious fanatics regularly attack Palestinians, including children, rob them, and start trouble based on the idea that God gave them all real estate between the Nile and Euphrates. They are terrorists by anyone’s definition, even most Israelis I’ve talked to about it consider them nutcases who hurt the country by incitement and taking more than they give while criticizing other Jews as “Hellenists” for not backing them. I often speak in defense of Israel (though not always) but it’s not just a case of “Muslims can’t handle Jews in the holy land” (and besides that, a number of anti-Israeli insurgents and even suicide bombers have been Christians, so it’s not entirely a religious issue).

  13. Andrew Brehm on November 29th, 2007 9:34 am

    “but I do object to the notion that anyone who is ethnically or religiously Jewish automatically can move there and displace the native population,”

    The first Zionists bought the land. I don’t see why specifically Jews cannot buy land and move there.

    It also seems obvious to me that when Jews _flee_ Arab countries the question “Why are they allowed to move to Israel?” already has an answer.

    P.S.: I have not heard of many settlers who believe that G-d gave Israel all the land between the Nile and Euphrates. I think you fell for an anti-Semitic urban legend. Have you ever spoken to a settler? Many simply settle where the ancient Jewish communities were uprooted and expelled in 1948.

    They believe in a right to return.

    The bastards!

    Personally, I think that a country attacked gets to keep the land it wins in the war. Giving large areas “back” to the “Palestinians” is fine, but “settlers” who bought land in the West Bank or who settle on land that was Jewish until 1948 should stay. Why not. Arabs live in Israel. Why should Jews not be allowed to live in “Palestine”?

  14. Andrew Brehm on November 29th, 2007 9:38 am

    “a number of anti-Israeli insurgents and even suicide bombers have been Christians, so it’s not entirely a religious issue”

    Oh, it’s not a religious issue at all. The Quran says that the land is Jewish and that G-d commanded them to live there and not turn back.

    The PLO is entirely secular. Their philosophy is Arab nationalism. It has nothing to do with Islam.

    I was talking of “Muslims” (self-proclaimed such), not Islam. “Muslims” DO have a problem with Jews living in the holy land, otherwise they would not have supported throwing the Jews into the sea and nor would Arab radio stations announce the death of all the Jews whenever Arab armies attacked Israel.

    It was always about pan-Arabism, never about religion; not for Israel’s enemies anyway.

    Nazi Germany didn’t try to kill all the Jews because of Christianity either. Killing all the Jews is usually a nationalist trait, not a religious command.

  15. The Raccoon on November 30th, 2007 11:16 pm

    Dave - I am fairly certain there were no Christian suicide bombings against Israel. Frankly, there were almost no Christian suicide bombings at all.

    Could you provide a link?

  16. Pablothehat on December 1st, 2007 11:27 am

    Yes..though the show would probably get better ratings if it were titled

    “I’m a fanatical, blinkered, bigoted, intolerant religious zealot! Get me out of here!”

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