Vagina Doctors

Posted on November 17, 2007
Filed Under Silly Me, Female Species, Sex/Sexuality, Sudanese |

… and why Ms. Dalu is not really a fan:

this reminds me of my first time at the gynecologist (which I refer to as the “Vagina doctor”) I was all kinds of nervous and flippin’ out because I had forgotten to request a female doctor and was totally taken back when I walked in and some dude was sitting there. To calm down my nerves he had said “Don’t worry, I literally look at thousands of these a year, now they are just flaps of skin with gapping holes” I was like WTF, but surprisingly, this very crude remark by him had calmed me down significantly.

… I had then decided that I will never marry a gynecologist.

Because my vagina is more than just flaps of skin with a gapping hole damnit.

Hehehe, I’m still laughing! :D

Comments

22 Responses to “Vagina Doctors”

  1. Dalu on November 17th, 2007 6:26 pm

    Male Gynecologists, I tell ya. :’\

    Just imagine dude coming home and it’s time to knock boots with the wife and half way through he’s like “hmmm, it smells like we are baking bread and the color of your vulva looks angry” or “not today hon, I have had enough of this today.” :’\

    Are there Penis doctors? I know penises are a huge deal to men, so, seriously how would you feel if some penis doctor lady goes, “don’t worry I see literally thousands of this wrinkled sausage things a year.” while looking bored as she poked around. I mean interest would suggest sexual harassment, but still damn. Light up a bit.

    Which raises a very good question (or not). ARE there penis doctors? Is the vagina just so complicated and so way out there that a whole profession is needed to be developed around it?

    I am making very valid points here. :’P

  2. Drima on November 17th, 2007 6:38 pm

    Girl, I swear you crack me up. LOL! :P

    “how would you feel if some penis doctor lady goes, “don’t worry I see literally thousands of this wrinkled sausage things a year.” while looking bored as she poked around.”

    Yeah, I’d be pissed off or at least slightly offended. You probably don’t want to hear about my Spanish friend’s story. He was circumcised after the age of 18 by a HOT female doctor.

  3. Amjad on November 17th, 2007 7:15 pm

    LOOOOL.. I also had to laugh at this one! :-p

  4. Dalu on November 17th, 2007 8:27 pm

    who said I wouldn’t want to? I want to hear any stories that involve “circumcision” and “hot.”

    Now don’t tell me dude couldn’t find an excuse to get with Hot Female doctor and decided to get circumcised to get some action?

    But in all seriousness. Why would you want to ever get circumcised after the age of seven? Circumcision is one of those things that should happen before you start developing any kind of long term memory abilities.

    I know there are supposedly health and cleanliness benefits, but these are being shot down lately. In the end, sometimes I think its purely aesthetic, cultural with the whole religious bits. But what do I know. I don’t have the equiptment.

    Now there’s something I can go google.

  5. The Raccoon on November 18th, 2007 11:32 am

    generally speaking, vaginas have more problems than phalluses. On a grand scale, too… bummer having one of them flappy skin and gaping hole things, I tell ya :)

  6. um naief on November 18th, 2007 11:50 am

    if you were a female, i don’t think you’d find this as funny!

  7. The Raccoon on November 18th, 2007 1:19 pm

    um naief -

    Yeah, I know… but I count my blessings :)

  8. Drima on November 18th, 2007 4:52 pm

    Well I’m not a female, maybe that’s why I’m finding the whole thing totally hilarious! :P

  9. Dalu on November 18th, 2007 5:08 pm

    Raccoon. I don’t know if vaginas really have more problems than penises. I mean enough to warrant a whole doctor specifically for that issue.

    A lot of the infection problems that women have are a result from the misguided belief that their vaginas are supposed to smell like flowers and fruits and cute puppies… So they actually spray perfumes on those poor things or douche (which is BAD BAD BAD) or do a whole bunch of other crazy things like try to apply glitter and hair clips. :’P

    I was speaking to the gyno that I currently visit and she she was telling me that a lot of young women that come in are very uninformed and really do not know how to keep it clean appropriately without taking extreme measure which just leads to more infections like (OMG THE YEAST INFECTION -plays deadly music-).

    But I suppose things like ovarian cancer are not cute either, and then there’s childbirth and its complications. So I guess that raises the bar… And all the complications that may occur with birth control -sigh- and menstruation. Jeez.

    But men also are at risk for cancer. TESTICULAR CANCER! dun dun dun…

    I pray for the day men can give birth. >_>

  10. Drima on November 18th, 2007 5:35 pm

    “I pray for the day men can give birth. >_>”

    Ain’t gonna happen girl! Muahaha. That’s YOUR job!

  11. Asma Ana on November 18th, 2007 7:11 pm

    I agree with Dalu that dudes should not get circumcised before age 7. I was cut at 13 and I can tell you it wasn’t a nice experience. For whatever, reason the member will rise up in the middle of the night, stretching all the surgical thread therein and accelerating the rate of pain.

    So what do I do? I asked a couple of older boys in the”hela” for a solution. I was told to buy a matchbox and whenever “al masura wagif” I should light a stick, place the flame slightly below it and the ensuing heat will cool things down. Boy that worked and I can tell you it was a pleasant feeling! But suffice to say, I was kept sleepless for over two weeks because, for reasons I can’t explain, I would get several erections in the night. In the process I consumed several matchboxes. Of course my mum didn’t know all this and would often wonder why there were so many used match sticks on the floor in the morning. I hope you are not smoking, she warned me.

    Asma Ana

  12. Dalu on November 18th, 2007 7:19 pm

    Haha, actually in retrospect. I have decided that child bearing is too important to be left to men. My initial comment is just so that men would feel the pain of birth.

    But in other news (well old news): Pretty soon, men might not be needed at all. http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/health/article2445061.ece

    -laughs maniacally-

  13. Drima on November 18th, 2007 7:29 pm

    Asma Ana, hehehe, that’s a funny story. :) Thank God I had mine when I was a tiny kid. I don’t remember anything at all.

    And Dalu, you’re officially an evil feminist! :P

  14. halalhippie on November 18th, 2007 9:39 pm

    Asma Ana, you have officially ruined my day :-)
    ouch!

  15. Dalu on November 19th, 2007 6:28 pm

    I am not an evil feminist. Militant? yes, but only because I like guns. Evil? No.

    I seriously cannot live without men (it’s gotta be the facial hair and knockin’ boots). To be an evil feminist I’d have to want the elimination of men and world domination. I am just more of a firm believer of having a very strong standpoint on having equal rights/opportunities that is all (with very little compromise), while fighting off other brutalities/injustices against women with a baseball bat.

    Asma Ana, your story made me cringe in ways that I didn’t know I was capable of.

    But for some reason, I do know about the “matches treatment.” no idea why. Hmmm. I know too many odd ball things. :’\

    Also, because everyone here wants to know this. I know a family friend who got circumcised (at 35) because his bride to be at the time demanded him to do so.

  16. Roman Kalik on November 19th, 2007 7:22 pm

    I was circumcised when I was around 9, myself, (don’t remember the exact age). My parents couldn’t have me circumcised back in the Soviet Union, and frankly they grew up not knowing or caring much of religious matters. This gradually changed after we got to Israel though. I still read about adults (in their thirties, forties, even sixties!) who came from the Soviet Union and who decide to get circumcised.

  17. Nomad on November 20th, 2007 3:35 pm

    funny post :lol:

    euh, here gynecologists is a profession that has lost its official recognition in our social system : it’s kinda “superflu”, cause all the Dr in medecine had a university cursus about gynecology. There are some left, for the finest elements of our society !

    otherwise I had some male and female models as I was doing art classes too.

    I recall once a man was so excited to show his penis to a class of mostly females pupils that he keep it erected for fast the whole course ; we just made it as if we didn’t see him ; so at the end his penis was down again :lol:

  18. Dalu on November 20th, 2007 4:25 pm

    I always wondered how nude male models kept their erections away. Or rather, come to think of it, I didn’t know you could have an erection on command and keep it going.

    I don’t know. Penises seem more complicated to be honest.

  19. Asma Ana on November 20th, 2007 10:26 pm

    Dalu,
    It must be viagra…how else would one have a hard-on in front of so many people?

  20. Drima on November 21st, 2007 2:08 am

    “I seriously cannot live without men”

    Dalu, ehm ehm. Well of course. Muahaha!

    Roman, that’s the weirdest shit ever. Sixty??!!

    “It must be viagra”

    Asma Ana, how about maybe imagining Pamela Anderson or Jessica Alba naked? Hehehehe. :)

    And damn, I should probably start a new blog focused solely on topics like this.

  21. Nomad on November 21st, 2007 11:57 am

    no need viagra (only for the elders :lol:)

    just some fantasm

  22. Dalu on November 22nd, 2007 2:34 am

    “And damn, I should probably start a new blog focused solely on topics like this.”

    I thought that’s what my blog was for. :P

    Seriously I was looking through my posts yesterday and I wondered what Freud would say.

    Nomad-So I actually asked some guy friends (in addition to some research). You can’t just command an erection, it takes a lot of work. I don’t know man, that model might have to go get his equipment checked. Or get off the viagra. Unless he somehow gets off standing in front of people. Or the other possibility maybe that IS his actually size and he wasn’t trying anything.

    What can I say. I take certain kinds of researches seriously. :P

    What is Fantasm?

    To be honest I only commented because odd numbers annoy me. :( I had to make it 22. Then I couldn’t stop talking…

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