November 2007

Maybe. Maybe not. Either way I’m loving it. Why? Simple. Because it’s pissing off Hamas and the Iranian regime.

I watched the speeches a while ago. Both Abbas and Olmert delivered theirs eloquently. It’s highly evident that the speeches were very carefully crafted since delivering them is like walking in a minefield. One wrong sentence and a damaging explosion could be set off.

Overall, I liked what was said and while there is surely a lot of skepticism, this is a significant event which I’m happy to witness taking place.

Olmert is going to have a hard time convincing the Israeli right-wing that East Jerusalem will go to the Palestinians while Abbas is going to have a headache telling his people there will be no right of return for the refugees. Undoubtedly, those two are the hot core issues.

If anything, this conference has succeeded in isolating Hamas and the Iranian regime further. Clever.

What do you think? Consider this an open thread on the conference.

… puts us in the headlines again and boosts our supreme notoriety. Spare some time and read the story here.

A British schoolteacher has been arrested in Sudan accused of insulting Islam’s Prophet, after she allowed her pupils to name a teddy bear Muhammad… the charge could lead to six months in jail, 40 lashes or a fine.

The incident is getting major coverage in the blogosphere and I find myself not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Check out the results in Google Blog Search and Technorati for the keywords “teddy bear sudan”. There are hundreds!

The whole thing is just so unbelievably pathetic. Clearly it’s an honest and innocent mistake. Oh no, how stupid can I be, she’s a white British infidel so it must be a freaking Zionist CrUSAde and Jewish conspiracy. Right? Raaaight!

I don’t think she’ll get lashed or imprisoned. I believe (hope?) she’ll get away with paying a fine - a fine which she doesn’t deserve to pay in my opinion.

Unity School where Ms Gibbons teaches is one of the most prominent international schools in Khartoum. Relatives and many friends of mine studied there. The school has a British curriculum and those who graduate receive an O’Levels certificate.

This isn’t the first time the school finds itself in the midst of a controversy, albeit one surely not as big as this. Back in the 90’s when beloved al-Turabi was still in power and his version of Sharia was being shoved down our throats, the school came under pressure to change the girl’s uniform. Many Islamists hated the fact that girls wore skirts and mixed with boys. Now we have this. And meanwhile, British Keefieboy is confused:

why is it ok for many thousands of men, some of whom have IQs appoaching zero, to be named after him?

Approaching zero indeed.

How is an educated non-Muslim supposed to know what the rules are (answer to last question: you’re not - the rules are made up as we go along). And why is everyone assuming that the bear is named after the Prophet - I believe the caretaker at that school is called Muhammed and everyone really likes him.

Once more, Islamic hardliners are making their religion look ridiculous. How sad.

Make that depressing!

Takhalllllllluf 3ajeeeeeeb ya nas!!

UPDATE I: The Teddy Bear “Crisis” Gets More Attention

Oh dear, it just hit CNN! I watched it five minutes ago. The British Prime Minister commented on the incident and already high ranking British government officials are engaging Sudanese ones in the… ah so very, very important matter.

Freelance journalist Rob Crilly is reporting from Khartoum with a post on his blog, followed by an article in Times Online elaborating the updates.

I hate the stupidity of this. More attention will hopefully mean the release of Ms Gibbons without getting jailed or lashed so bring it please! Of course we may fully expect to see local hardliners politicizing the incident for their own advantage and trying to mobilize anger with it which shall complicate matters further. They’ll squeeze its juices until the last drop. Fingers crossed.

At the moment, some pro-government newspapers are making it seem that the teacher named the teddy bear Muhammad on her own and on purpose. Here are posts from my fellow annoyed Sudanese bloggers on the issue:

• Kizzie
• Amjad
• Rara Avis

The school has been shut down until January for fear of reprisals. Wow, surprise of the century!

UPDATE II: The Teddy Bear “Crisis” Continues - Teacher Sentenced To 15 Days In Jail Followed By Deportation

I can’t believe the ridiculous amount of attention this is getting. I guess it happens when we have depressingly pathetic incidents like this. People! We should be talking about Darfur instead! But… it looks like we won’t. So here I go, while doing my best not to fill up this post update with profanities.

Ms Gibbons will unfortunately be spending the next two weeks in a tiny room after which she will head back home to her country. The bright side? At least she’s not getting lashed 40 times. At the start I was honestly expecting she’ll get away with a fine but when the noisy hardliners got louder and began making their usual super sensible statements, I got skeptical.

I can’t really say I’m surprised over how this turned out. These people live in a world of conspiracy theories where everything a Westerner does might be a plot against Islam.

However, influential Muslim hard-liners sought to raise outrage over the case. The semi-official Assembly of the Ulemas, or Islamic clerics, said Wednesday that Gibbon’s action was “another ring in the circles of plotting against Islam.”

They’re so bored out of their minds, they need to imagine themselves as characters in a video game. This is entertainment to them. They thrive on this. And you know what? I say Islam’s biggest enemy is in fact people like them.

Imams are going to order people to demonstrate after Friday prayers today.

Wednesday night, a pickup truck drove through Khartoum calling for Sudanese to hold protests after Muslim prayers Friday.

But Maj. Gen. Abdeen al-Tahir of the Khartoum police, vowed security would prevent any protests. “Nothing will happen tomorrow,” he said.

Good luck Mr. Abdeen. It should be fun. Damn, I’m so jealous, I wish I could join them. There will be shouting, and screaming, and jumping, and a big crowd of furious people. Seriously, what’s there not to like? The only thing missing is a heavy metal band. Now that would be cool. We’ll make a mosh pit, head bang together and proclaim “down with the infidel teacher”. Oh and then we’ll start burning some American flags! Yaaay!

Al-Bashir’s NCP doesn’t want this to escalate. Hardliners could very well inflame strong sentiments against Westerners in the city which will obviously be bad, hence the wonderful “balancing act”. Bleh. And some people wonder why I adore cute Islamists.

A teddy bear named Muhammad? Oh, very, very insulting. An Islamic media company releasing a DVD featuring a stuffed toy named Adam? Let’s just ignore it. Lovely butchers like him YES! Oh yeah, now THAT’S what I’m talking about. No problem at all. None whatsoever.

Oh and for all you Brits putting the blame on her, SHAME ON YOU! As for the Commenters, tone down your derogatory language. Alright?

UPDATE III: Demonstrators Call For Teacher’s Execution.

Maj. Gen. Abdeen al-Tahir of the Khartoum police failed. There were angry protests. No surprise there really.

KHARTOUM, Sudan - Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy bear “Muhammad.”

… They massed in central Martyrs Square, outside the presidential palace, where hundreds of riot police were deployed, although they did not attempt to stop the rally.

I gotta tell you, the mixture of religious dogmatic views and culture of honor displayed in this case is appalling.

… The women’s prison where Gibbons is being held is far from the site, as is the Unity High School where she taught, which is under heavy security protection.

I just got off the phone a while ago. A close friend of mine has younger siblings who study in Unity High School where Ms Gibbons taught. Some people did in fact want to burn down the school.

The “crisis” continues.

Sandmonkey has the story. Thank you Muslim Brotherhood. Egyptian society is more cohesive thanks to your wonderful holy efforts and will continue to be.

Equality between women and men? Equality between Muslims and non-Muslims? Raaaight!

The place is owned by Hanan al-Turk. Big Pharaoh blogged an amusing post in the past showing her “holy transformation”. I’m guessing we’ll find Hala Sheeha and her chilling together. Who’s Hala Sheeha you say? She underwent a more extreme “holy transformation”. Check it out here.

Oh my God, I swear I can’t contain my excitement. Okay, so a short while ago I was being my usual goofy self with a bunch of friends and I suddenly came up with the greatest and potentially most entertaining “Drima idea” EVER!

What would happen if we threw a bunch of religious lunatics together in a small tiny room and left them inside for a while? Imagine them all - Talibani dudes, Hamas bearded men, half a dozen Jewish Kahane fans, and a few Pat Robertson followers - locked up together for two weeks.

Add a video camera into the equation and (drum roll) we’ve got ourselves a reality TV show! We can call it “The Holy Room” and it will come with some interesting and brain twisting challenges for its religious fundies to participate in. The prize? A billion dollars to use for whatever religious cause they might have - good or sinister. The best part? They must work together and get along during some challenges (like how it’s done in Survivor and The Apprentice).

Losers get killed by beheading. Or worse, they’ll be forced to watch porn on the gigantic indestructible TV screen inside their tiny residence. Ah, you know what? Make that gay porn - with a Marilyn Manson soundtrack.

Questions during challenges will include debating things like free will Vs predestination. We can even ask them if they think Jesus was black and if Hindus should get control over Jerusalem. The results can’t be all that bad and the entertainment will be priceless!

So? Who wants to join me? Any investors interested? Come on people, we can make history and some decent money with this shit.

It’s a pretty good debate and both of them make great points but I tend to agree with De Waal on more though.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! I’m especially thankful that my exams will be over tomorrow. Saturday night is party time followed by a great two months holiday with lots of cool things planned. All that will remain is one bloody semester and then I graduate. Meanwhile I already have five great job options dangling in front of me to choose from. You bet I’m thankful!

Again, happy Thanksgiving everyone and thank you all for the wonderful support you’ve given to this blog.

Yeah, that crisis. Silva Kiir, the SPLM’s boss went to the United States and met President Bush. The visit apparently wasn’t coordinated with other partners in the “unity” government aka al-Bashir’s NCP which got the NCP rather pissed off. Following that, Omar al-Bashir engaged in very inflammatory rhetoric to score some political points.

Addressing a mass rally this morning at the Wad-Medani Stadium (capital of Al-Jazeera State), some 200 miles south of Khartoum, celebrating the 18th anniversary of the Popular Defence Forces (PDF), President al-Bashir ordered to the PDF to open its camps and mobilize troops and get prepared for any eventuality.

“Now we order the PDF, the legitimate son of the people, to open their camps and gather the Mujahideen [Holy warriors] not to wage war but it is obvious that we should be ready.”

Southerners are angry and the temprature is high. Meanwhile it doesn’t look like we’ll have productive Darfur peace talks soon. There’s some ongoing string pulling by the SPLM occuring behind the scenes as this article indicates:

A war could also disrupt the oil supplies on which Khartoum relies to fight on its other war fronts.

It’s not lost on Southerners that Khartoum can’t go the war road. Nor is it lost on them that the Arabs are stalling over the peace agreement. The Arabs, the Southerners say, want to resolve the Darfur war quickly, which would free them to fight another war with the South, rather than implement the peace agreement.

As I’ve mentioned previously, the SPLM and Darfurian rebels are strategizing together. Keeping the NCP pressured by Darfur’s chaos is good for the SPLM.

… And with the oil supplies possibly disrupted in the south, the NCP regime would not have the resources to buy political loyalty and fend off the Islamists in Khartoum, who are possibly baying for President al Bashir’s blood, annoyed that he has sold out to the US.

And that my dear friends and readers is the situation at the moment. Meanwhile, al-Bashir is promising the world that there will be no return to war. Seriously, if the UN airdrops hundreds of thousands of Xanax and Prozac pills on Sudan, our problems might actually get settled. As for those Islamists and their best friend Dr. Hassan al-Turabi, I’d pick Omar al-Bashir over them on any given day.

Bin Gregory Vs Umar Lee. What an extremely interesting read!

And its reasons. I love the guy. He’s so entertaining in presidential debates. Oh and he has very unique views on Darfur too.

Check them out here. I love the commentary he provides:

LTC Michael told me more than once that the Muslims reached out to him to protect the Christians from al Qaeda. Real Muslims here are quick to say that al Qaeda members are not true Muslims.

… The interpreter “Ice,” pictured here with members of the congregation outside St John’s after mass, grew up in this neighborhood. His family is Christian and St. John’s is their church. I asked Ice if the Muslims treat the Christians poorly in Iraq, and he said what other Iraqi Christians and Muslims have also told me: an unequivocal “No.” Ice said they had no problems at all until al Qaeda instigated friction between people.

It’s too bad that a huge portion of the American Right continues to insist “Islam is an evil death cult”. I prefer the other camp, the one which actually gets it. Islam and its interpretation is as monolith as we Muslims ourselves are. You’ve got the “Islamic Left” - progressive Muslims, secular Muslims, Sufis etc. - and you’ve got the “Islamic Right” - Wahhabis, Salafis etc. Yup, that’s pretty damn monolith I say.

… and why Ms. Dalu is not really a fan:

this reminds me of my first time at the gynecologist (which I refer to as the “Vagina doctor”) I was all kinds of nervous and flippin’ out because I had forgotten to request a female doctor and was totally taken back when I walked in and some dude was sitting there. To calm down my nerves he had said “Don’t worry, I literally look at thousands of these a year, now they are just flaps of skin with gapping holes” I was like WTF, but surprisingly, this very crude remark by him had calmed me down significantly.

… I had then decided that I will never marry a gynecologist.

Because my vagina is more than just flaps of skin with a gapping hole damnit.

Hehehe, I’m still laughing!

Grrrr!

CAIRO, Nov 8 (Reuters) - Egypt’s highest authority on Islamic law said on Thursday that drivers cannot be blamed for killing people who stand in front of their vehicles, just days after a police van ran over a woman who tried to stop it.

Dar al-Iftaa, the government agency which issues around 1,000 fatwas a day, denies its rulings are influenced by politics but opponents said the statement could have been issued to defuse criticism of the government linked to Sunday’s death.

And the manipulation of Islam for political purposes continues. Emoodz is so right.

… without the need of referring to scientists or telescopes, who even needs lawyers and judges, courts and laws, when we have muftis and mullas that will have a say –in the name of god- in anything and everything they know and do no know about.

Clowns.

Remember Mohamed Taha? He’s the editor of a Sudanese newspaper who was beheaded last year. The criminal act sent shock waves throughout Khartoum and was followed by months of investigations/ “investigations”. At one point, officials even said they weren’t going to rule out the possibility of “Western hands”. Now ten Darfurians have been found guilty and sentenced to death.

November 10, 2007 (KHARTOUM) — Ten Darfuris accused of beheading a Sudanese journalist were sentenced to death by firing squad on Saturday, a punishment usually reserved only for the military, the defence said.

At the start all fingers (including mine) were pointing towards Muslim extremists due to the way the killing was carried out. When the investigation began, other fingers eventually started pointing towards a group of Darfurians as the ones possibly responsible. Here’s why:

Taha was himself an Islamist but had angered others by reprinting an article questioning the roots of the Prophet Mohammed. Authorities said he also angered Darfuris by writing articles questioning the morals of Darfuri women

This is old news. The articles (which I didn’t read) allegedly made it seem as if the rape crimes occurring against women in Darfur where either mostly fabrications or not a big deal since Darfurians supposedly have a culture of practicing pre-marital sex anyway. Not surprisingly, Darfurians found this deeply insulting. That’s the story basically.

The problem is many simply aren’t very convinced with the results of the investigation. I’m a little skeptical myself.

the court was influenced by the political establishment in the unprecedented ruling. Anyone condemned to death in Sudan is usually hanged.

“The court was full of security services and government figures,” he said, adding he would appeal the sentence.

“He” refers to Omer, the leading member of the defence team.

“We will take the legal route, go to the Court of Appeal and the Supreme Court and the Constitutional Court,” Omer said.

Omer had himself been imprisoned overnight for making public comments that his clients had been tortured to extract their confessions.

Awww, isn’t that cute? Even Omer himself was thrown in prison for speaking some forbidden words. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were tortured. This is our reality. In fact, only if they weren’t, would I truly be surprised.

Oh and now for the great ending: a 16 year old boy is amongst the 10 sentenced to death.

Yaaay!