10 Things I Learned from My Previous Trip to America

Posted on October 12, 2007
Filed Under US October '07 |

In a few hours I’ll be leaving to the airport to head to Chicago for a week and then to Washington DC for a few days to attend a conference. This will be my second visit to the United States and I’m making sure I keep in mind some things I learned during my previous trip.

1. Never ever shop in K-mart. Half of the people working there are high on crack and another third suffering from serious psychological illnesses.

2 . If you see gay couples showing affection towards each other in public then too bad, get used to it.

3. If you’re going to eat bagels, then stay away from the horrendous ones sold at Dunkin Donuts.

4. Go to Hooters for anything except the food. Yuck.

5. If possible, attend another enjoyable show by the Blue Man Group.

6. When homeless people start bugging you too much, give them a cigarette. It will make them happy and they’ll leave you alone.

7. The easiest way to start a conversation with a hot chick who’s walking a cute dog is at first by completely ignoring her and focusing on the dog instead.

8. Never go to Starbucks, order hot vanilla and tell people behind the counter you’re allergic to coffee. They’ll console you as if someone in your family just died.

9. Never ever bug a club bouncer to let you in by telling him 19 is very close to 21. Oh no wait, that doesn’t apply anymore now. I’m already 21. Muahahaha!

10. Stop watching too many American gangster movies and quit being so paranoid. Walking late at night in major American cities isn’t that dangerous. Drive by shootings don’t happen every two seconds.

Ah yes, those are 10 important self-reminders I’ll keep in mind. Now I have to get back to packing my two small bags.

Later!

Comments

15 Responses to “10 Things I Learned from My Previous Trip to America”

  1. aaron on October 12th, 2007 2:46 pm

    #10 has me cracking up. Oh Drima. ;) Also why would you eat a bagel at Dunkin Donuts? I mean…. it’s not called that for nothing.

  2. Peter on October 12th, 2007 3:20 pm

    The 10 points could be a synops for Borat vol.2. :-)

  3. Drima on October 12th, 2007 5:55 pm

    LoL… Borat? That would be cool.

    But hey no seriously, I was so damn paranoid when I first arrived. I was especially paranoid when I was hanging out with my friend at 2am in the middle of Manhattan during my first night in NY. I kept holding on to my stupid camera so tightly for fear of getting mugged or having a gun/knife stuck in my face. Needless to say, it was all cool after that.

    Now it’s ME who’s the gangster. Mehmehmeh. I just fart and they die. Simple!

    Gotta go to board right now. I’m in the freaking airport!

    Later!

  4. lirun on October 12th, 2007 10:24 pm

    yo sup dude.. aight yo?

  5. mohamed elgadi on October 13th, 2007 3:16 am

    You need to give better explanation to #1 and #3… K-Mart known by their cheap and bad quality stuff but I never experienced what you mentioned here…
    Dunkin Donut has great bagel… have you tried their “Reduced Carb Bagel?”

    I hope you enjoy your trip…

  6. kizzie on October 13th, 2007 9:26 pm

    my number 1 is definitly, homeless people in san francisco are not dangerous and no they don’t walk around with guns and they will not rob me!

  7. Ms. Missive on October 14th, 2007 12:32 am

    Chicago! Yes!! I’ll be lookin’ for ya in Starbucks. :)

    Safe travel!

  8. Drima on October 14th, 2007 5:54 pm

    Touchdown! Hello Chicago!

    And damn! The SPLM has withdrawn from the unity government. In a move that is the biggest escalation of tension between the NCP and the SPLM, we now risk going back to civil war and tearing our country into pieces.

    http://sudantribune.com/spip.php

    Thank our “great uncle” and beloved government for its cooperation and smooth implementation of the agreement.

    The predictions might be right after all. The civil war looms over our heads. However this time, the Southern SPLM isn’t alone. They have allies.

    If shit doesn’t work out (which I don’t think it will as much as I’m trying to be optimistic) we can expect the following showdown.

    SPLM + Darfurian and Nubian Rebels Vs NCP

    Sigh!

    Meanwhile me try to be happy and enjoy Chicago. Later!

  9. The Raccoon on October 14th, 2007 6:42 pm

    Dude, have fun in the States…

    And the bones will fall in Sudan as they will.

  10. Ahmad al-Safawi on October 14th, 2007 7:04 pm

    Nice :D 5aberny lama terga3 ya khoya

  11. tommy on October 14th, 2007 7:11 pm

    I know the odds of you getting mugged going down any inner city street just once aren’t great but don’t make it a habit. Chicago can be bad and residential DC can be even worse than Chicago, man. Don’t get lost in the wrong neighborhood and be careful late at night. In most small towns and suburbs the streets are safe at night but I wouldn’t want to get caught in certain sections of Detroit, Chicago, LA, Philadelphia, DC, New Orleans, or Oakland in the wee hours.

    Have fun.

  12. Drima on October 14th, 2007 8:20 pm

    Haha thanks for the advice Tommy :)

  13. Roman Kalik on October 14th, 2007 8:56 pm

    Have fun in the states, man. As for Sudan, the unfolding events were easy to fortell… In a short time, though, this simple virtue of certainty is going to evaporate.

  14. detamble on October 16th, 2007 10:42 am

    Buy a bagel for me?

  15. Aimster on October 22nd, 2007 7:58 am

    what’s about the rats? LOL you little wuss

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