The Sudanese System & Way of Life - Part 1: (IBM)

IBM = Insha’allah, Bukra & Ma3lesh

Insha’allah: God willing, if God wills it
Bukra: Tomorrow
Ma3lesh: Sorry, my apologies, forgive me
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The Sudanese way & system of life runs on those 3 words. Sudan and many Sudanese people are what they are today thanks to the extensive use of IBM. Laid back attitude many Sudanese display over Darfur, slow pace of work in many offices etc. are all linked to IBM syndrome. I believe in much of the Arab world, IBM exists too. Frankly I’m tired of IBM and people with the IBM mentality. Scenario?

You ask your friend or your relative to meet you Thursday afternoon at 3pm. He replies “Great, insha’allah bukra at 3pm”. You wait until 4 in the agreed location and he finally calls saying he can’t come. The reason? His alarm clock’s battery died and therefore the alarm clock didn’t ring to wake him up. “Ma3lesh, ma3lesh Drima can we postpone it until tomorrow? Bukra same place at 4pm okay?” tells you Mr. IBM infected brain in a super relaxed tone as if the whole incident is just a very small tiny deal. Naturally I blow up “Bukra??!!! WTFish? Are you for real? Yesterday you gave me your freaking word and now you give me this lame ass excuse??!!”. Mr. IBM infected brain uses the most typical and safest Sudanese reply, “Wow, relax. You’ve been living abroad for way too long. Look, I said insha’allah man. It’s not like I can predict the future. I can’t control what happens you know. This is Allah’s will. Are you going to argue with Allah’s will? Listen, I’ve got to go now. Bukra at 4pm, yalla see you there insha’allah“.

Now if such things happen once in a while that’s very understandable but when they happen all the time it’s something else that completely bugs me. Plus, the word insha’allah gets abused so badly nowadays. You know what bugs me more? The fact that things like this don’t bug most Sudanese people! It’s as if it’s part of the culture now. When I get all angry and people who don’t know me standing around notice the situation, they immediately guess that I’m not a Sudanese living in Sudan but from overseas. Therefore my dear friends let me warn you of something. If you ever visit Sudan and a Sudanese tells you he or she will meet you after 2 hours, multiply that by 2. You’ll still reach the agreed upon place before that person does! But wait… If that Sudanese person’s name is Drima or he’s as cool as Drima, then you better not multiply anything and make sure you’re on time or else! DO YOU HEAR ME? Muahahaha! You get the picture. Long live Sudan and all the other Arab countries suffering from IBM syndrome!